Thursday, October 2, 2008

Doing The Job (2003)

More games, same year, now with your friendly neighborhood local utility provider. I lost my temper, I’ll admit. But for good reason. I was vindicated in the end. PG&E. Got the bill for the month. $240.00. What??? I paid the past due balance last month. Something was wrong here. Obviously, they misread the meter. Now for the phone call.

Gave my account number. It was clear by what appeared on their screen, including the recent payment, that there was a misreading of the meter, outside my apartment building. I asked, “Will someone come out to re-read the meter, and issue a new bill?” “No. You’ll have to pay this bill, as it is due.” “But it’s $240.00. That’s six months worth of dues.” “Sorry sir. We can’t change the billing.” Bullshit.

So I started in on him. “I’m not paying this bill. You guys made the mistake. And I’m not paying for it.” “That’s your right, sir, but if you don’t, you’ll be shut off.” “Fuck you. Shut me off. When I bring this up to management, knowing you have the ability to rectify this, it’ll be your ass.” “Sir, there’s no need for profanity. I don’t use it. My family doesn’t use it. And I won’t tolerate it being used in my presence.”

At this point, I didn’t care, and hung up on him. Of course, this will always come back to haunt you. It’s why you get the recording message in the beginning. “This call may be monitored for training purposes.” Bullshit. It’s a way to cover their ass. I knew this. And also knew there would be a record of my conversation. So I called back. Calm, mind you. If you need assistance, no sense in coming out swinging.

“Hi. I just got off the phone with one of your reps. It didn’t go anywhere. I was polite at first, but worse came to worse, due the lack of service I knew was possible from your end, and lost my temper. So I’m here to start from the beginning, to see if there’s something that can be done here, to prevent the loss of power as a result. Here’s my situation.”

Sure enough, the rep concurred. “Yup, shows here there was an outburst. You seem calm enough now. Let’s start from the beginning.” I explained the situation just as I had previously. He said, “No problem. I find it odd the previous rep couldn’t resolve this. Obviously, the meter was misread. Here’s what we can and will do. We can’t arrange at this time, a return to your property. What we can do is put a notification on your account that the meter was misread. All you have to do is nothing at this time. Next month, after the meter is read, the miscalculation will correct itself. Of course, you’ll be responsible for two months.” Done deal. Now why couldn’t the first guy do this? I didn’t blow up until AFTER he said there was nothing he could do. Prick.

And so it goes. When dealing with customer service, involving a discrepancy on a bill, missing parts, a disruption in service, etc, remember: customer service personnel are there to help. What happened to you is not of their doing, and, subsequently, not their fault. They get yelled at, chastised, chided, demeaned, and rode, for reasons that are not their doing. Here’s the scoop: you deserve it if you waited until after the last minute, when it is too late, no matter how much you bitch about it. But if you take a second to rationalize, count to 10, and take a deep breath, and have a set of circumstances you believe can be negotiated, you may have a chance. But you have to keep a cool head. For what they make an hour, it is in your best interest to be cool.

You can wait until the last minute, but remember where the edge lies. The edge is the disconnection, or cancellation. You can always negotiate up that point, but not after. Remember, they just want to get paid. Of course, negotiations are dependent on your history. If you make arrangements, even at the last minute, and don’t keep them, you can’t be trusted.

I’ve found that a payment to keep from having service interrupted, can always, ALWAYS, be made, that week. Weekends don’t count. If you call on a Friday to keep from losing service you know will end on Saturday, and it does, trust me; they’re not going to agree to a payment on Monday. A lot has to do with the outstanding amount. They’ll accept a portion, as long as you agree to a later date for the remainder. Blow it off and there goes your credit rating. You can only put it off for so long. After a certain point, you lose. Then come deposits as security. You know, collateral.

But don’t be alarmed. For example: if your service is shut off, such as cable or gas; it is done by computer. And can be turned on within a couple hours after payment has been received. Wait too long, and they physically turn it off at the source: your building. Now you have to arrange a time to be home for when they come out to turn it on. The sad part is, they didn’t need you to be there to turn it off. But now they need you there to turn it back on. And it’s a four-hour window. You have to take a half-day off from work. Do they show up early? Never. In fact, more often than not, you end up calling back to find out when they’re coming, since, now, it’s after the window they originally gave you. Sucks, doesn’t it. They know this. So I like to turn the tables on them. I tell them, “Why do I have to be there? I wasn’t there when you came out to disconnect me? The same should apply for the reconnect. You want me there so you can get in. Didn’t need me there for the disconnect.”

Doesn’t work every time. Instead of taking a half-day, schedule it for a Saturday. You’re home, anyway, and they’re working a Saturday. They’re gonna be late, no matter what. Make it as difficult as you can. Part of it is customer service’s doing. Part of it, I guarantee you, is the guy coming to service you. He doesn’t give a shit. Make his life difficult. Play dumb. He just might feel sorry for you.
I almost forgot the most important point. Be nice. The best results I ever get is when I open the conversation with this: “Hi. I need to make arrangements because I’m in a bind. I’m not happy about it but that’s not your doing and not your fault. I know you get yelled at on a regular basis, but you don’t have to worry about that here.” I give the account number, followed by the name, address, phone, and last four digits of my Social Security number, one after the other. Standard information always asked at the beginning. More often than not, they’re appreciative, if not also impressed. From that point on, cracking jokes and laughing puts them at ease, and whatever they are able to do, will happen.

Doing The Job
2003

So your job involves customer service

But when there’s nothing you can do,
Or won’t, as is sometimes the case,
Because you CAN make exceptions
Then you’re just doing your job

The truth of the matter is -
You have to be nice
The tape is rolling

And I have to, too
Unfortunately
If I am to succeed

I know you can make concessions
Depending on the circumstances

Unfortunately,
Whether you choose to or not
Depends my attitude
So if you choose to just do your job
It is not in the interest of customer service

And I as the customer
Suffers

(Obviously the exception to the rule when referring to that urban anecdote, “The customer is always right”.)


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