Lost Love (1986)

The stuff dreams are made of. Dreams of finding love. And romance. Definitely trial and error. Some positive, some negative. Dirty laundry, if you will. But few and far between. Most of the selections were written during the relationship rather than after. Although some tainted clothing may surface simply because of the sheer abnormality of it all. And humorous, years later.

The one that stands out the most, and is most deserving of recognition, is “Nikki”. She was not the first girlfriend; she was the first love. She set the standard so high (in my mind) that she is the reason I’m still single today. This would become my only regret in life. I was 20 and grew tired of professing my love due to her being insecure about it. (A flaw in the Gemini nature – inability to complete projects due to boredom.) I learned later most women think this way and is something we men have to get used to. Like Chris Rock said, “Women need food, water and compliments”. Anyway, I broke up to see someone else, but waited too long to attempt reconciliation. It never happened, and I’ve regretted waiting too long ever since.

The following selections are verses with someone particular in mind. Each are attributed to a different love. Some are simply generalistic; as in, dreaming and hoping for the future. The first, most importantly, came about after the first love (Nikki) and deserves its spot at the top. Wrote a poem about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes.


Lost Love
1986

It’s a feeling felt
Like nothing else
You may or may not understand
To have or have not, I say
This feeling I have known once
Possibly, who’s to say
I say
And again it will
But when

Time passes like the sun
Age grows, I grow
Impatiently
Waiting, wondering, when
The end draws close
Not that close
But still, alone am I
Accumulating woes
With no one to share the joy
‘tis mostly joy in everything
No matter what I do
Enjoy it I will with you.

What is the reason
For this sensation
More than what’s in common, it is
Yes, ‘tis more than a passing phase
To like as I like
Necessary it is not
I do what others like
Selfishness be void
This, I say, is why I pray
For someone who can play
Along with, beside me
Share the feeling
I’ve missed so long
Live life, opposing views
Not right or wrong
Do you know the feeling
I speak of?

It’s out there
Yet just out of reach
I’m reaching, farther
Almost within reach
Nut as I move, it moves
Sometimes close, too close
Deception hurts, hurt it does
But invincible it is not
I can tell
I’ve seen it, felt it
What the hell is it I long for?
That I seek?
Understand you may
That’s all you can say
If never your feelings
Felt this way
Some day will come
When yes, again
Someone will feel as am I do
Yes she will
Whoever you may be
Wherever, I shall find you
My loveI’ll shareth with thee.